Healing from the worst burnout I've ever experienced.

To be honest, I was feeling uninspired, and doing way too many things. Living a creative life is fulfilling, but so is knowing when to say no. This last year or so, I’ve been saying yes to just about anything that comes my way. Recording, shooting photos, video production, making websites, building software….just reading this list alone is raising my blood pressure.

Shawn. It’s too much. And, while I thought I was approaching creative nirvana, I was actually headed for the worst burnout I’ve had in my career.

My dad calls my ambitious nature too many pokers in the fire, and I agree. Although I felt like I was moving forward, my lack of direction and trying to be everything to everyone was actually backfiring and spinning me in circles. It’s time for some of those pokers to come out. They’ve overstayed their welcome.

Now that those projects are done I’ve been taking some time for me. That’s why you haven’t seen this newsletter going out. I’ve been taking time away from the laptop to enjoy with my family, to play video games, shoot photos, and some Magic the Gathering on weekends. I’m also reflecting on what it is that I truly want out of my life, as well as my creative studio, and being wary of both what I put out into the world, as well as attracting the work that I actually want to be doing.

A lot of my motivation up until this point has been out of fear. The “AI Era” had me shaking in my boots, thinking that it was going to replace me extremely quickly. I was having a hard time facing the harsh reality that a machine could write code faster than me. So I reacted out of fear. And thought that doing all of the creative things would somehow give me this magic “a-ha” moment.

I didn’t take a beat to think, does that really matter?

Writing code is one thing. Writing great software is another. Not to turn this into an AI anecdote, by any means. I truly think creative minds will prevail as this bubble starts to burst. And I am confident in my skills to put cool things out into this world and work with amazing humans who want to do the same. These skills that we have are just means to solve a problem. To create what wasn’t already there.

I do think that I was put on this earth to make things. I’m a builder at heart, and I’ve loved computers since I was a little kid tinkering with my dads old work laptops and an old desktop we had in the basement of our Michigan home. The fact that I can build something with nothing but a laptop and an internet connection is fascinating to me, and I’m regaining that spark I had when I started learning how to code 7 years ago.

None of this came easily though. I’ve been journaling for the last couple of weeks and doing deep reflection on what I want my life to look like and what I want to prioritize moving forward. I’m finally in a place where I’m “touching grass”, and finding a healthy balance that allows my mind to recharge, and refuel my soul through the things, people, and hobbies that I love.

Being away from the laptop/working all the time was exactly what I needed. To slow the f*ck down and enjoy life before it passes me by.

So if you’re feeling like me…find your way of touching grass and do that. Because I can promise you it is a gamechanger.

Oh. and the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

Paps